teddog

Because Steff and I are not creative in any way, after seeing this the other day...
http://mice.livejournal.com/327301.html
... this snowballed. Inside jokes, ahoy!

1.) Yes, Devon has had military training and no, playing "Let's see how much he remembers" is not a suggestable way to spend an afternoon in the kitchen.

2.) On that note, please do not think you can replace Devon's tea with Lipton. He will notice.
2a.) See note 1.

3.) Ketchup belongs in the fridge, not on the table, on the counter or in the cupboard. This means you, Nelson.
3a.) No, you can't use it as fake blood for a skit, either.

4.) Joel and Bonnie are business partners and as such, have business meetings on a regular basis.
4a.) This does not mean they are allowed to use the kitchen table in lieu of the lab table upstairs.
4b.) No, not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter.
4c.) Suggestions on soundproofing materials may be slipped under the office door down the hall.

5.) Don't steal other teammates' tea bags. Most of us can count.

6.) When grocery shopping, please try to include something from each of the food groups.
6a.) No, chocolate is not its own food group. Neither are chips.
6b.) "Artificial fruit flavouring" doesn't count either.

7.) The microwave is not to be taken apart. Nor is the toaster, the coffee pot, the blender. In fact, Joel, please refrain from dismantling all of the appliances.

8.) Food is never to be used as a weapon. Ever.
8a.) Unless in dire emergencies.
8b.) If you have to think about it, it's not a dire emergency

9.) If there are pasteries on the counter, DO NOT TOUCH THEM. Or you may end up on the wrong side of the Mistress of Magnetism.
9a.) Rick, don't even think about writing a magnetic joke here.

10.) Sniping is not permitted in the kitchen. Not even with Nerf darts.
10a.) Paintballs are especially forbidden. Use of paintballs in the kitchen will result in punishment detail.

11.) If you finish the milk, don't leave the empty container in the fridge for the next person to discover.
11a.) Likewise, the boobytrapping of the fridge is not recommended.

12.) If the left overs have grown fur... give it to Clayton.
12a.) No, Mike is not a leftover.
12b.) And if leftovers are given to Clayton, they are not to be fed to Frank. Please find some other use for them.

13.) Please do not fight over food. It's food. And the threat "I know where you live" doesn't hold up well.
13a.) We also know where you sleep.

14.) When making soup, please try not to burn it.
14a.) Yes, we know this shouldn't be possible, but somehow Mike managed to set soup on fire.
14b.) While cooking, non-drowsy medication is recommended.

15.) Comic books are not acceptable substitute for wax paper or other packing or wrapping materials.
15a.) This means that Rick's room is not a storeroom for packing or wrapping materials.

16.) Okay. Rice. We get it. We got it several times. Let's move on.
16a.) Any 'sticky rice' comments will be met with swift retaliation.
16b.) In fact, any cute nicknames for sex lifted from the Asian cookbook will be met with swift retaliation.
16c.) The same with any mentions of 'mice'.
16d.) This means you.

17.) If there are five Oreos or less, they belong to Mike. No exceptions.
17a.) Attempting to quantify them with complex scientific measures doesn't count.
17b.) Nor does claiming any broken ones don't count.

18.) If you're first in the kitchen, brew coffee. I don't care if you're a tea drinker. Coffee is the lifeblood of at least 75% of the ShadowKnights.
18a.) Brewing decaf is only good enough on April 1st.
18b.) Decaf at any other point will be met with swift and certain justice.
18c.) In fact, Decaf isn't allowed in the kitchen, period.

19.) If in doubt about your ability to cook something... call Pizza Hut.

20.) Failed cooking experiments belong in the trash, not on display.
20a.) Or in Clay's lab.
20b.) Unless you screwed up really, really bad. Then we want to see.

21.) Males of the House: No, Kitty and Lorna will not be the only ones cleaning the kitchen.
21a.) Nance, for all intents and purposes, you're included with the males in that rule.
21b.) That means STOP leaving messes!
21c.) And stop blaming them on Bonnie. She's not out of her lab enough to make a mess.

22.) The TV is not to be dragged into the kitchen.
22a.) If you want the Weather Channel, Mike, look out the window.
22b.) The VCR isn't to be taken apart on the kitchen table. Yes, Joel, this is directed at you.

23.) While water ballons can be filled at the sink, they are outdoor toys.
23a.) Premature explosions will be dealt on a case by case basis.

24.) The bag of sugar shall not be removed from the kitchen, nor shall it brought in any close proximity to the parking lot.

25.) To wrap up this set of rules: If you think it might get you into trouble, cause alarms to go off, create havoc, cause chaos or otherwise mess things up... just don't do it.
25a.) And say no to tipcuts.

Yep, Steff. I had to save it. Oh, and I tossed in a new one.