![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Are You Grateful Enough?
If there's one thing that pisses me off, it's that this question is always on my mind, especially this time of the year.
I blame my uncle and aunt. They aren't sane people - they used to live in the community I live in now, but left because my aunt didn't feel she was a part of the community. She felt she was too racially out of place (she's WHITE and living next to LEASIDE. That's where Harper grew up.) and that she didn't have any yuppie mothers she could have coffee with and discuss how terrible and violent and evil the world is today.
So, they moved Oakville, so she could have a massive house, even though she didn't like keeping her small one clean, along with huge spaces that were impossible to heat and massive yards to keep care of. Which is a shame, because her old place had flaws, but it was lovely and sweet and cute, with a cozy-but-nice kitchen, beautiful backyard, lovely hardwood floors, clawfoot tub, three blocks from a wonderful looking school and in walking distance to groceries, transit and parks. I WOULD KILL FOR THIS PLACE WHEN I HAVE A FAMILY.
Now, the hell of this is that they also claimed to hate commuting from out of town, and yet moved out of town. I never understood this.
Back on topic, the one thing that pissed me off is they were fairly generous to me, but they were highly cynical of my interests, my intended profession, my level of education, my tastes, my politics and my emotions. Case in point - one of my friends ended up in the hospital when I was living with my aunt and uncle and I was worried sick about her and then my aunt came out and said her sister had her truck stolen and that was a million times worse. Wait... what? I was so upset at the time that I had a breakdown. That was not fun.
Yet, I tried to return kindness to them for feeding me and putting up with me while working on my placement. I felt that the respect I was giving them was more than what I was getting back and I hoped to set an example. Except, every time I talked to my mother, she made the same comment.
"They don't think you're grateful enough."
To this day, I have no idea why they thought this. I did my chores, I helped pay for things, I looked after myself and I put up with the shit they forced on me, like forcing me to join a gym, yelling at me for being out at 10pm at night (yes, scary things are going to happen to me at the late night book store), and giving them second opinions on open houses. I never complained, unless they took away the internet modem which forced me to scrape together dial-up and pirated wireless access. Again, that was not fun.
But, I put up with it, even when they suddenly kicked me out because they wanted to sell the house and couldn't have me and my geek stuff around, forcing me into a zombie state of over 5 hours of commuting a day. And yet, they still weren't happy.
Was I supposed to bow to them, worshiping them as my upper class masters because they happened to draw a good lot in life? Was I supposed to become a slave to them, unable to have my own opinions? Was I supposed to thank them every waking moment, to the point of leaving them little notes in their lunches?
I've tried to figure it out. I'm not perfect and I probably did something to piss them off, forgot to do a chore, ate leftovers that were intended for another use (that I did do, but I was hungry and didn't know!) and I think I forgot to pay something back, but they won't tell me what that was. But I don't think I deserved the guilt trip laid on me. I tried my honest best and was always polite and respectful.
I can't help but wonder if it's a poor person thing. I remember a friend passing a list called "Being Poor" and one line in it grabbed me.
Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.
And that, my friends, is the heart of it.
And now I'm going over to the party store over to Yonge to get some cute little things to stick on top of my brothers' presents. Not to make them grateful, but because it'll make me an awesome sister and give them something to brag about.
I blame my uncle and aunt. They aren't sane people - they used to live in the community I live in now, but left because my aunt didn't feel she was a part of the community. She felt she was too racially out of place (she's WHITE and living next to LEASIDE. That's where Harper grew up.) and that she didn't have any yuppie mothers she could have coffee with and discuss how terrible and violent and evil the world is today.
So, they moved Oakville, so she could have a massive house, even though she didn't like keeping her small one clean, along with huge spaces that were impossible to heat and massive yards to keep care of. Which is a shame, because her old place had flaws, but it was lovely and sweet and cute, with a cozy-but-nice kitchen, beautiful backyard, lovely hardwood floors, clawfoot tub, three blocks from a wonderful looking school and in walking distance to groceries, transit and parks. I WOULD KILL FOR THIS PLACE WHEN I HAVE A FAMILY.
Now, the hell of this is that they also claimed to hate commuting from out of town, and yet moved out of town. I never understood this.
Back on topic, the one thing that pissed me off is they were fairly generous to me, but they were highly cynical of my interests, my intended profession, my level of education, my tastes, my politics and my emotions. Case in point - one of my friends ended up in the hospital when I was living with my aunt and uncle and I was worried sick about her and then my aunt came out and said her sister had her truck stolen and that was a million times worse. Wait... what? I was so upset at the time that I had a breakdown. That was not fun.
Yet, I tried to return kindness to them for feeding me and putting up with me while working on my placement. I felt that the respect I was giving them was more than what I was getting back and I hoped to set an example. Except, every time I talked to my mother, she made the same comment.
"They don't think you're grateful enough."
To this day, I have no idea why they thought this. I did my chores, I helped pay for things, I looked after myself and I put up with the shit they forced on me, like forcing me to join a gym, yelling at me for being out at 10pm at night (yes, scary things are going to happen to me at the late night book store), and giving them second opinions on open houses. I never complained, unless they took away the internet modem which forced me to scrape together dial-up and pirated wireless access. Again, that was not fun.
But, I put up with it, even when they suddenly kicked me out because they wanted to sell the house and couldn't have me and my geek stuff around, forcing me into a zombie state of over 5 hours of commuting a day. And yet, they still weren't happy.
Was I supposed to bow to them, worshiping them as my upper class masters because they happened to draw a good lot in life? Was I supposed to become a slave to them, unable to have my own opinions? Was I supposed to thank them every waking moment, to the point of leaving them little notes in their lunches?
I've tried to figure it out. I'm not perfect and I probably did something to piss them off, forgot to do a chore, ate leftovers that were intended for another use (that I did do, but I was hungry and didn't know!) and I think I forgot to pay something back, but they won't tell me what that was. But I don't think I deserved the guilt trip laid on me. I tried my honest best and was always polite and respectful.
I can't help but wonder if it's a poor person thing. I remember a friend passing a list called "Being Poor" and one line in it grabbed me.
Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.
And that, my friends, is the heart of it.
And now I'm going over to the party store over to Yonge to get some cute little things to stick on top of my brothers' presents. Not to make them grateful, but because it'll make me an awesome sister and give them something to brag about.
no subject
no subject
They haven't tried to contact me in some time, which of course means that I'd be the one blamed for it. But, this holiday season, my opinion is "Fuck them all". If someone has decided that they don't want to be my friend unless I bend over backwards to please tem, you know what? They weren't my friend to begin with. Because I am sick and tired of being accused of only talking to people when I need something when the other party never contact me.
no subject
People with the martyr complex just need to be fucking put out. -_-
no subject
Again, it seems to be a "grateful" thing, as in "You're not grateful enough that I'm your friend". Which really fucks with my head, honestly, because I didn't have many friends growing up, to the point of maybe ONE in all of middle school, so to have that tossed back at you makes you wonder your own social skills.
no subject
But even with all that, if they won't even tell you how or why you owe them money, they sound like bloody-minded gits.
no subject
There's more stories, like the time I was late at work, they never called and they all went out to dinner without me, leaving me with no note and no food in the house. :|
no subject
Some friends of my wife, down in Arkansas, introduced her to the concept of "Family 2.0." These are the friends you choose who become closer to you than family, via shared or complementing interests. They don't replace your genetic family, but they can definitely be a lot more bearable.
It's a good concept. :)
no subject
no subject
Really, you'd think they were right out of a sitcom or something. It's really sad, realizing just how many horrible stereotyped people like this there are in the world. :P
no subject
They seriously rented shit to sell the home. They took out everything, hired a home stylist and destroyed all of the house's charm to see it.
Given that these were the type of people who would watch sitcoms and dramatic series seriously, it doesn't shock me that something would rub off.
no subject
LOL They actually got one of those people to come in and redecorate the place so they could sell it? I was there briefly and it was a very nice home, they really didn't need to sterilize it to sell it. :P